By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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