I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize