so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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