so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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