4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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