I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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