And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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