Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We had to coat check the pizza.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize