I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize