Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize