I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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