Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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