we're blogging at a bar
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
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Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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