I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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