we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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