i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize