It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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