Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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