let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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