yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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