were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
dude. I can hear the air.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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