there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize