Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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