i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
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