nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
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i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
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Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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