if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize