I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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