woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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