just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize