Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
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If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
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There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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