Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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