2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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