I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trust falling into bushes
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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