omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
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She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
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Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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