totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize