It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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