just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
How's work?
Spinning.
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He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize