She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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