Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize