Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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