are you so shy because you have an std?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize