i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize