great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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