I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I know her cup size but not her name....
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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