its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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