After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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