shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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