That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
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