the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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