Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize